We’re closing up shop and calling it a day but that’s no reason to cry. You can continue to read our nefarious exploits at the new domain right here.

Open the floodgates...

For those of you¹ who followed our exploits here over the last few years, we have a new venture just about to launch. Since this site has had a strong Liverpool bias² we’ve decided to close this domain down and launch www.PaisleyGates.com which as of today is ready to go and almost up to speed. For those of you just joining us, welcome to the…..uhhhh…present. What better way to get the proverbial ball rolling  than with an empathetic win over the Premier League basement dwellers? I can think of better ways but forget all that for now. The winning streak starts here. Read the rest…

1. The few, the proud… [↩]
2. To put it mildly… [↩]

MORE COWBELL!

Winless in our last two. Haven’t scored in over 180 minutes of play. Players hanging their heads and looking distraught. How am I going to keep this positive? Well, you can’t get much lower than here can you? This is a big week for redemption. A win against Pompey would be another nail in their coffin and give us a good jumping off point for the midweek match against Lille. The fixture list is piling up as we play 3 matches in 7 days with a trip to Old Trafford to round it all off.

3 matches in 7 days with each being just as important as the last. This is perfect timing for the press to embellish some comments made by our Spanish Wonderkid about his future. Wonders will never cease when it comes to the eternal quest to sell more papers or get more hits to the website. Anyone with the reading comprehension of a Second Grader can see through the bullshit ruse as the pundits try to make something out of nothing. Amazing that all of this surfaced right around the same time that Tom Hicks lost his billionaire status. Coincidence? I think not.

-steven.

Shit! Here comes the ball again...

I’m going out to drink my blues away in a little under an hour¹ so I’m going to keep this brief. I’m not stupid enough to think we should be rolling over everybody just because we’re in some second tier competition. I don’t even expect to win the fuckin’ thing. This whole “our place” talk is balls. We’re not good enough. We might have won this Cup in its various incarnations three times previous but there’s a distinct difference between now and then. Read the rest…

1. Friday night is starting early… [↩]

Guys...uhhh..can you make some noise this time? Thanks.

This year, well, we just lost to fuckin’ Wigan. No need to beat this to death, we know the performance was horrible. I’m done trying to analyze the team.¹ Almost all of the big names are back with the exception of Yossi who has an ankle problem. Johnson was in the line up to face Wigan, Torres now has 2 matches under his belt, Aquilani can’t get a match but he’s ready anyways, Gerrard is still in the hole and Agger is ready to roll. Analyze that. Either you’re up for it or you’re not.

The remainder of the season has to be perfect. Perfect. There’s little to no margin for error.² We’re stuck in a second tier competition with the very real possibility of taking another go around next year if we don’t fight our fuckin’ way out. While we’re here, we might as well beat up on the French. Rafa has a decent record in that country across the channel so here’s to hoping. GET THE FUCK IN.

-steven.

1. For a little bit, anyways… [↩]
2. There will be errors. [↩]

A sneer is worth a thousand words...

This very week last year we were rolling over Real Madrid. Making 9 time European Champions look like they were turning out for a Sunday League. Now? We’re bitching about the grass in the DW Stadium. Oh, fashionable, metropolitan Wigan. What a destination for a Monday night. By the way Rafa was talking, you’d think the boys were turning up in Chernobyl¹.

Fucking dross. Horrible, wretched performance. A £20mil midfielder who can’t get a start. Pulling off Yossi when Maxi was doing absolutely fuck all. Torres was acting like a child and Stevie was hanging his head. Same old tactics, never differing from the game plan. I know I’ve touted the loss of Alonso as a key factor but maybe teams have figured you out. Read the rest…

1. When in reality, it was a mere Three Mile Island. [↩]

Wayne Bridge is a top bloke but with all due respect, I'd smash that too.

So, instead of boring you with a article you’ve read a million times, I’m going to link to a bunch of articles you’ve probably only read once and might want my opinion on? You don’t want my opinion? Well thanks for the vote of confidence. Assholes…. Read the rest…

1. Seriously, with all due respect; which likely doesn’t mean much coming from a stupid Canadian… [↩]

Badass Bald Man...

Big Sam seems to think that we’ve copied his patented Thug in a Back Alley style of play but judging by the cards that were dished out, he’s still got that one on lockdown¹. Blackburn has never, ever, been a pretty team to watch and they’ve only regressed under Allardyce. Barcelona they are not.

Despite my best predictions, the Gaffer came out of left field with a squad I never thought I’d see. Macherano in the back four? Gerrard partnering Lucas? Torres being rushed back?  Has Rafa gone back in time and re-united with his pre-2007 self? Are we about to be subjected to a new wave of rotation? Will Marty make sure his Mom and Dad get together at the Under the Sea Dance? All these questions and more answered after the jump. Read the rest…

1. Except for maybe the Greek but that’s not our fault. [↩]

Macherano shows NYxHC some love...

It must have been Show the Boss You Can Score Night as Macherano, Gerrard and even our resurgent Ryan Babel got on the score sheet. A screamer, a sneaker and a tap in. Where’s the fuckin’ love? God knows this is the first time we’ve scored more than 2 goals in, well, I can’t even remember to be honest so pardon me for my little celebration.

Lille in the next round with potential trips to Juve and Valencia still alive and well. Life is good¹.

It wouldn’t be Liverpool if the evening didn’t come without something bad happening. No, I’m not talking about Zonal Marking. I’m talking about Martin Skrtel coming down with a bad case of broken foot. Perfecting timing, just when he was finding his form. Thankfully Johnson will be back soon and the Greeks suspension for his red card in the Derby is almost over. Guess it’s time for some youngsters to put a shift it. Read the rest…

1. But really, it could be better. [↩]

Go ahead, Cornelius, you can cry.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t posted in a year or maybe it’s the wine that I’ve been drinking, but I think it is about time I stopped being quiet.  Or maybe it’s because I can’t read a sports website based in England without tripping over the names John Terry and Ashley Cole.  What have the two Blues teammates done to warrant such headlines?  They have not won any trophies or accomplished anything to note.  In fact, Chelsea will be playing with a goal deficit when they come back to Stamford Bridge in the return leg against Inter Milan.  No, these two knuckleheads are in the news because they couldn’t “keep it in their pants.”  Now, what exactly “it” is, I’ll leave you to guess, but I will give you a hint: It’s the same thing that Tiger Woods has problems with.  Jose would be so proud.

I am usually a little critical of the press when they start meddling in the lives of public figures, however, at some point there needs to be a line drawn.  As far as I am concerned, if you make money from endorsements, which are basically asking the public for money because you say that you support something, then you are fair game for the media.  It’s a double edged sword that media.  It can make you famous, but at the end of the day, they’re just trying to make a living and will use whatever story will draw people in. Read the rest…